Cry
by ATightropeToTheWords
Summary: Because sometimes, even the strongest must cry... Christmas present for I'mDifferent-GetOverIt. WARNING: Character death.


**A/N: Hey, y'all. Well, this is a Christmas present for my epic friend, I'mDifferent-GetOverIt. Different has a thing for angsty Zarter, you see. And thusly this story is born. **

**Warning: Character death. **

**MERRY CHRISTMAS, DIFFERENT! You rock, and you're one of the best friends a girl could want. :D Hope you enjoy!  
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><p>She stares up at the sky. It's so wrong. Why is the sun shining on a day like this? It should be dark. Cold. Like how she feels inside.<p>

She squeezes her eyes shut and bites her lip so hard, she tastes blood. She will not cry. She's stronger than this.

She looks down at the hem of her black dress, fiddling with the lace. She feels like a widow. And somehow that's the only thing that feels right right now.

She hears voices all around her. They're so close, but yet they sound like they're at the end of a faraway tunnel. She's alone. She's always alone. Because the one person who used to make her feel loved is gone.

She feels so cold. It's like her blood is frozen in her veins. She herself is frozen. She can't move. She can't speak, although she wants to scream. She's so crowded. Her head pounds and she feels like it's about to explode.

_She won't cry. She won't cry._

The ceremony finally ends, after what feels like a millennia. Mourners in black attire slowly stand as the coffin is opened, so that they can say their final goodbyes to him before he descends into the earth.

His sister is the first to approach the box. Her steps are slow and unsteady, like she's walking on a high-wire. Her blond hair is a rat's nest and her dress is stained with tears. His sister hides her face behind her hands. It's all too much for her. She takes one swift peek inside the box before the water works begin. Sobs rack her body and she has to be dragged away from the coffin, for her feet won't work.

Then the other girl approaches the coffin. The blond one. The cheerleader from Nashville. She's much more together than his sister was, but her eyes are dead. She tilts her head down to look at him, and her body shakes. Her strength wavers and she whispers one word before backing away, her head in her hands.

_Goodbye._

Many more people take their turns. His mother. His father. His uncle. His students. His friends. And, finally...

It's her turn. She tucks a strand of short black hair behind her ear and forces her body to move. It feels like she isn't moving, but she's getting closer to the coffin. The sun is so bright. She hates it.

She's almost there, now. She feels people's stares, the looks of sympathy and the looks of agony. She can hear the sobs, from his sister and his mother and basically everybody else.

_She won't cry. She won't cry. _

She's there, now. Her heart pounds against her ribcage. Her eyelids feel so heavy. She wishes she could curl up on the ground and wake up, and all of this is just a nightmare.

It is a nightmare. It's a nightmare come true.

She swallows and puts her hands on the edge of the coffin, to steady herself. She closes her eyes and steals her will.

_She won't cry. She won't cry._

She opens her eyes.

He looks so peaceful. His sister refused to allow him to be mummified like some had suggested, and so he's wearing black dress pants, a white dress shirt, and a tie. He looks like he had when she had first met him. His hair is still curly and brown, and he's wearing almost the exact same clothes, aside from the pants.

But there's one giant difference.

He is dead.

She fights back a sob and chokes on her words. She needs closure. She needs to tell him now what she never told him when he was alive.

"I-I-I'm s-so s-sorry, C-Carter," she sobs, "I'm so sorry. I-it's sh-should have b-been me who died, not you! It's my fault... It's all my fault..."

She falls to her knees beside the coffin and keels over, crying. In her mind, she hears his final words. The final words that only she had heard, when she knelt by his side on the battlefield.

_"I love you, Zia." _

People try to help her up and guide her back to her seat, but she fights them off. She staggers to her feet and leans back over the coffin, clutching his cold, lifeless hand in hers.

"I love you too, Carter," she whispers.

And then, she runs away, tearing away from them all. Running from the cemetery. Running from the mourners dressed in those horrid black clothes that signify that something tragic had happened. Running away from him.

She stops outside the church, needing to catch her breath. She rips off the stupid black high heels and throws them as far as she can.

She stands there for a moment, panting and trying her hardest not to think about everything.

Not to think about him.

She sees the church, then, like she had just noticed it. She studies it for a minute before walking purposefully inside.

_She won't cry. She won't cry._

She walks up to the alter. From around her neck, she rips a little ring from it's chain. She stares at it. It's simple, made of silver and with a little diamond set in it.

She never saw anything more beautiful in all her life.

She kneels in front of the alter. She takes one final look at the ring. She presses it to her lips gently.

And then she closes her eyes. There was a spell. A spell she had once found in a scroll in the library, and tried. She had almost died performing it. He had saved her. He had combined his magic with hers and finished the spell with her.

That was two weeks before he had died, killed by a demon in the middle of a battle.

He was so young. He was only 18-years-old. He never got to go to college. He never got married. He never had a child.

Never.

_She won't cry. She won't cry._

She begins to chant, whispering the words of the spell, which she had memorized. She had planned this. She had planned for what she was about to do.

She feels the strength seep out of her limbs. She feels her body grow weaker and weaker.

With her final movement, she slides the ring onto her ring finger.  
>"I am not Zia Rashid," she thinks, "I am Zia Kane."<p>

She leans backward then, and then she's lying on the floor of the church, in front of the alter.

Dead.

When they found her body, later that day, nobody saw the dried tears that ran down her face.**  
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_Because even the strongest must cry sometimes._**  
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><p><strong>AN: *Is crying* I hope you're all happy. I just killed off my favorite characters for the love of angsty Zarter. *Goes to get tissue*  
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**While I'm getting a tissue: Review, please! :D  
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**- Hyper **


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